


Den Mother

by Waffle_Masquerade



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Post Season/Series 02, Pre Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-08
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-14 06:30:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waffle_Masquerade/pseuds/Waffle_Masquerade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Stiles is just bitter.  He got kicked out of boy scouts.”<br/>“Excuse me, Scott, I was asked not to return.  Two totally different things.”<br/>“How do you even get kicked out of boy scouts?”  Derek wonders, eyes a bit unfocused as Jackson somehow manages to throw a two ton boulder at Isaac.  “Where would we even get popcorn to sell?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Den Mother

**Author's Note:**

> Something short and sweet to bridge the gaps between seasons 2 and 3. Shamefully unbetaed. All mistakes are my own and are the direct result of my failure to pay attention in English class.

“So you’re like, their den mother?” Stiles asks, sitting on a log in the forest surrounding the dilapidated Hale house and watching the betas fighting with each other. It is easier, Stiles had discovered, to think of them as betas instead of werewolves. Thinking of Isaac and Jackson as, you know, actual werewolves throws Stiles’ brain for a loop. It’s one thing to know that they’re superpowered, wolf monster things, it is another thing to actually acknowledge that fact. Somehow thinking of Derek and Scott and werewolves was completely okay. But somehow Jackson and Isaac just didn’t make the cut to actual werewolves without making Stiles’ brain yell “ABORT!” So... yeah, betas. “You like, organize outings and make them sell popcorn and have them earn badges and make them tie knots?”

“No.” Derek bites off, not even bothering to look at Stiles as Isaac leaps over fallen tree so he can kick Jackson in the back of the head and into a tree. Stiles winces. “Wait, den mother?” That gets a reaction, and really, that’s pretty much Stiles’ goal in life. Getting a reaction.

“No, he’s their alpha.” Scott offers helpfully, wincing as Isaac gets thrown ten feet in the air. “Two totally different things.”

“But like, den mothers run their pack of scary little boy scouts. You just happen to run a pack of scary little werewolves. I see no difference here.”

“Why would I be teaching them to tie knots? How is that relevant at all?” Derek’s still trying to figure that one out, eyes narrowed and still not looking at either Scott or Stiles.

“Survival skills?” Stiles helpfully supplies. “Like if you get caught by a hunter and get tied up? Or could you... just bust out?” Stiles has to think about it for a second. If Scott could break out of handcuffs rope probably wouldn’t do anything. Maybe if it was laced with wolfsbane or something?

“Stiles is just bitter. He got kicked out of boy scouts.”

“Excuse me, Scott, I was asked not to return. Two totally different things.”

“How do you even get kicked out of boy scouts?” Derek wonders, eyes a bit unfocused as Jackson somehow manages to throw a two ton boulder at Isaac. “Where would we even get popcorn to sell?”

“I think I broke him.” Stiles mumbles, which gets him a punch from Derek and a laugh from Scott.

“You could give them badges, to motivate them and stuff.” Scott’s now stuck on the idea too and that’s pretty awesome if you were to ask Stiles, since it is a pretty awesome idea. “Like, you survived your first full moon. And it would have a little wolf, howling at the moon. That’d be cool.”

“You’d get a badge for like, hunting down a rabbit.”

“Why are we hunting rabbits?” Isaac shouts from twenty yards away, somehow managing to catch Jackson’s foot with one hand without even looking at him.

“We aren’t!” Derek yells back. “Would they have to wear uniforms?” He asks Stiles, a small smirk on his face.

“Yes! Oh please, can we make them? Scott! Get on that!”

“Aren’t there wolf scouts? Or something? There’s cub and eagle for sure. I think wolf is a rank you can earn.” Scott says, a bit dreamily. He’s off in Scott Land now. 

“Weren’t you the one who wasn’t kicked out of boy scouts? Shouldn’t you know that?” Derek asks, which earns a noise of protest from Stiles. He wasn’t kicked out. He was asked to not come back. “Do I have to be called den mother? There are guys who run boy scouts, right?”

“I didn’t make it far. I dunno, Danny’s mom was our den mother. Stiles, what are the guy leaders called?”

“I’m wiki-ing it. Hold your horses.”

“Google it.” Scott mutters.

“Adrenaline rush.” Stiles replies, looking up from his phone with a wide smile. “How come this is taking so long? Derek, you need to install a wireless router or something out here. My service is shit.”

“Do I even want to know?” Scott grins widely up at Derek and Stiles’ is making a face like a thousand new ideas just blossomed in his head. “No. I don’t want to know. And no, I’m not installing a wireless router in the middle of the woods Stilinski.”

“One day you will regret those words Derek Hale. Oh look! Derek, look! To earn a wolf badge you need to learn survival skills! This is scary relevant!”

“I thought boy scouts earned badges like girl scouts? You don’t get them for like, reading a book or something?” Frowning, Scott places his chin on Stiles’ shoulder to read the phone screen. “That is a thing right? Because cool badges are really the selling point here.”

“No, yeah look. You get badges for swimming and crap. Merit badges. Derek, when can we throw the werepuppies into a river and claim it is so that they can earn a badge? A merit badge. When?”

“Werepuppies? And no, we’re not throwing them into a river.” Derek can’t see it, but behind him Erica is blowing him a kiss in gratitude, only to get piled on top of by both Isaac and Boyd. “Well. We could. I don’t know know long they could hold their breath for. Could be useful.”

“I could kiss you Derek Hale. I’d even let you use tongue.” Because seriously, this guy is the best. All of the awards to Derek Hale and his awesomeness. An awesomeness that sees the worth of throwing teenaged werewolves into a river.

“Please.” Scott snags the phone out of Stiles’ hand. “Don’t.” He starts tapping away on the screen, ignoring his friend’s grabby hand and pouting once he notices that his phone’s gone.

“I didn’t know you were that easy Stilinski.” Derek says, all wolfish grins that gets even wider when all Stiles does in reply is waggle his eyebrows at him, in what Stiles would describe as “suggestively” and what Derek would describe as “two caterpillars doing the tango.”

“Pretty sure they’d kick you out of the boy scouts, again, if they saw you two sucking face.” Scott mutters under his breath, but if Stiles can hear him -which he can- then Derek and probably Isaac, and Jackson could hear him too. Really, why even mutter when surrounded by werewolves?

“Derek wouldn’t kick me out, as he is our den mother. I have an in. An in that allows me to suck face with the den mother. We’d be breaking all the rules, together. Our romance would be a forbidden one. Just a lowly wolf cub scout and his den mother. Sucking face. We’d have an illicit love affair. Meet underneath the moon. Well, not the full moon, but a moon. At night. Sneakily.”

“This got really disturbing, really fast.”

“Yeah, I’m not enjoying this scenario any longer.”

“Way to kill the joke Stiles.”

“You two suck. You realize that. I’m the height of hilarity over here and you two rain on my parade. Constantly.” Derek responds to this little outburst by shoving Stiles off the log. If any other person had shoved him, Stiles probably would’ve yelled and cursed and maybe thrown a punch or two. But no, this is Derek Hale. Pushing somebody around is pretty much his only form of expressing fondness. Instead Stiles allows himself be to pushed onto the forest floor, among the dead leaves and decaying fungus. At least he hadn’t punched him. Or bit him. “Awesome.”

“Oh look!” Scott thrust the phone into Stiles’ hand. He’s practically panting he’s so excited. “There a thing called the Order of the Arrow. Allison could totally be in that!”

“It is for honor students, or something. For boy scouts. Allison isn’t a boy the last time I checked.” But yeah, there’s a thing about arrows. Totally up Allison’s alley.

“Have you seen Allison lately?” Derek asks, causing Scott to freeze. Scott takes the phone back, taps at it for a second and returns it to Stiles again.

“Look, a merit badge for reading.”

“Hallelujah.”

“Didn’t the Argents leave?” Derek asks, ignoring Stiles when he pushes the cell phone up at Derek’s nose and the betas have stopped their play fighting, probably both unsure where this line of questioning is heading. Worried, Stiles sits up, glancing between Scott and Derek, phone retreating to his hoodie pocket. “Didn’t she?”

“I don’t know. Yes? I mean, I know last semester was kinda crazy,” he gestures between himself and Stiles and the woods as a whole, “in general? But she broke up with me. And I’m giving her space.”

“She’s a hunter. If you know that she and Chris are still here that’s important Scott.”

“She broke up with me, okay. I had to hear it from Jackson from Lydia that she left. Ask him if you want to know where they are, but I told you, I’m giving her space. I don’t know anything that’s going on with her. That’s not like, easy for me dude. Don’t rub it in. I don’t even know if she’s coming back in the fall.”

“Whatever.” Derek is looking back out at Isaac and Jackson, who should be practicing their werewolfing skills and not staring at Scott and Derek like mommy and daddy are fighting. Noticing that some of the tension has died down, the two begin to circle around each other again. “I don’t hate Allison.”

“Thanks, I think?” Derek just nods and then the tension is gone. Stiles can’t believe that Derek allowed Scott to talk that much at him. That he listened and let the subject drop, didn’t bother to even lunge or intimidate him. Derek must be getting old, Stiles thinks, in his old age. “I’m gonna go practice when the rest.” Scott lopes off through the trees, faster and stealthier than he would’ve been a year ago, taking Isaac by surprise when he tackles him from behind.

“No red eyes even.” Stiles says, the wonder evident in his voice. “You held it together man.”

“I’ve been trying to be better about holding in my anger.”

“Ah, yes. Keep the kids on their toes.” Sage advice from Alpha Hale. “Keep the fear in them.”

“It isn’t about fear. Just look at you. You were stuck between Scott and me but nothing. Not even a flinch.”

“Well, I am used to it. Too bad you didn’t become a zen master or whatever quicker.” Derek doesn’t look angry, more of a concerned look. Derek’s been doing that though lately. Being concerned. Concerned about his pack. About hunters. About something. Derek’s been stressed a lot lately, he has a lot on his plate now that he’s the alpha. Stiles isn’t sure if Derek knew that, going in, when he killed his uncle. That he’d have this much responsibility. He probably hadn’t figured that out until after he had bit Boyd. “Are you going to tell me what is going on?”

“Nothing is going on, Stiles.” Derek is standing, hovering above him. Stiles still hasn’t bothered getting up after he had pushed him over. No point in it really. Stiles knows he’s prone to getting pushed around now that pretty much everybody he knows are werewolves.

“You can tell me, you know.” The other werewolves are busy, clawing and fighting with each other. It is play, mostly. Like puppies or kittens. And they heal fast. They aren’t even paying attention to Derek or Stiles at this point. They feel safe, out in the woods by the Hale house. “They aren’t even paying attention.”

“Scott,” Derek starts, forehead wrinkling. “He said, after Gerard, that he didn’t want to get involved with this stuff if he could help it.”

“I’m not Scott. I know how to keep a secret.” Stiles makes a vague gesture that he hopes Derek interpreted as “werewolves” and not like, just flailing.

“You’ll tell Scott.”

“Scott doesn’t tell me everything.” Stiles reminds him. It is a sore point, especially for Stiles. Derek doesn’t seem to mind that he was just as out of the loop as Stiles was. Even though Scott had agreed to working together with Derek that he chose to work with Deaton instead.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “I’m not dumb Stiles. If something is happening, if I can’t handle it, I’ll tell you two. Just let me deal with it first.”

“Do you even,” Stiles stops himself. He wants to burst at the seams. After the lacrosse game, things can’t go back to how they were. There was no going back. Jackson, Lydia, Peter, Gerard, Erica and Boyd. It was all up in the air. Stiles can’t bring himself to tell Derek. He can’t even tell Scott and he doesn’t know why he just can’t say anything about what happened in the Argent’s basement. Can’t even tell Derek about Erica and Boyd.

“I’m respecting what Scott wants.”

“Well that’s nice of you.” Stiles huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and standing up so he can get a better view of Scott, Isaac and Jackson.

“I’ll tell you if I have to, I promise.” And Stiles can tell that he’s lying. Derek won’t say anything if he gets in over his head. And he will, and it’ll blindside him and Scott and probably get somebody killed. Stiles doesn’t believe him for a second.

“Whatever you say, den mother.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first bit of fanfiction I have posted online is about... three to five years? So this is basically my worst nightmare. This is not only my first attempt at Ao3, but also "Teen Wolf." Thanks to my friends who only rolled their eyes when I told them I was going to write "Teen Wolf" fanfiction and didn't openly mock me. Also, sorry for the "Twilight" reference.


End file.
